


nadir

by ghostknife



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode 26 spoilers, Other, Pre-Slash, Resurrection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15284082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostknife/pseuds/ghostknife
Summary: It occurs to Caleb why he hasn't left the group yet. They're going to fix this.[post episode 26]





	nadir

**Author's Note:**

> This was wrote pretty quickly so sorry if there's mistakes, but I wanted to write something to get some emotions out re: episode 26.

_Look at these people … I should go right now. Look at this one - he’s like a walking rainbow, what is this? Why are you with him? It makes no sense. He’s a circus performer, he’s not going to help you._

It makes sense, now, Caleb thinks, as the whole group of them stand in a stunned silence around Mollymauk’s lifeless form. He cares about these people - not just Nott, he cares about every single one of them, and that’s why he’s here, that’s why he couldn’t bring himself to run away, even when things were starting to look shitty. Caleb repeatedly flexes his fingers to dig deep into his palm, almost hard enough to leave a mark if it weren’t for the fact he’s already blunted his nails from biting them out of nerves since as long as he can remember. 

Why did it have come down to this for him to realize these are the first people he’s cared about in over a decade? Why did it take Mollymauk’s _death_ for it to occur to him that they’re more than just tools? He’s _stupid_ , so fucking _stupid_. Caleb growls under his breath at the sudden bubble of anger towards himself, and turns away from Molly’s body as he frustratedly taps his knuckles against his forehead, pacing. He feels numb and cold and angry, at himself and the fuckers that did this, that hurt his _friends_

They can’t stand around, they’re wasting time and Molly’s going to slip through their fingers for good, they have to get to going, they have to go, go soon and find a cleric in Nogvurot and make this right. This isn’t the end of Mollymauk Tealeaf.

“We have to go,” Caleb almost whispers, trying his best to keep his tone flat and put-together to conceal his emotions, but when his friends and Keg just stare at him, his voice breaks, next words coming out like a strangled hiss. “We need to get moving, he’s not dying here, _he’s not dying here.” ___

__

__They ride on towards town. He thinks of Molly’s warmth, his unabashed laughter, the way the corners of his eyes always crinkle up when he smiles, of the feeling of his lips on Caleb’s forehead nearly a month ago, bright and searing but still impossibly gentle, caring. He’s not sure why._ _

____

***

_“Your second start isn’t over, Mollymauk. Please. Please.”_

There’s voices, slowly growing closer, brighter, more vivid as Molly drifts in the emptiness, eventually clear enough as if they’re being spoken in right into his ear and suddenly all the air feels like it’s been kicked out of his lungs - his vision goes a bright white before it’s replaced by his friends in his peripheral, Caleb the most prominent, crouching next to him, wiping at his eyes. There’s a brief moment of panic as Molly chokes on his own air, desperately coughing to to try get oxygen back into his lungs as his heart kicks in his chest.  
He blinks and suddenly Caleb’s scooping him up in his arms, pressing frantic kisses against his cheeks and forehead, rocking him in his lap. For a second Molly wonders if it’s _actually_ Caleb, he’s never been a touchy man before the thought gets stopped in its tracks by a sudden burst of pain as a small body tumbles into his side, and then another, larger body topples the group of them into pile on the floor, everyone’s arms all wrapped around Mollymauk.

“You dick! You absolute fucking _dick_ , don’t do that _ever again!”_

Beau’s voice rings throughout the room, somewhat strained, and Molly starts laughing, hearty and full, despite how much it stings. He’s alive, alive and happy, surrounded by most of his friends, such huge contrast to the last time he did this, and he thinks, everything’s going to be okay. Once the laughter dies down, they’re mostly quiet, wrapped up in their dogpile, save for the occasional murmurs from Caleb in Zemnian, whispered soft against Molly’s shoulder and frequent sniffles from - Beau, or Nott, maybe, he’s not sure. He’s thankful for all of them, and as much as Molly’s lived like every day is his last, he’s glad this wasn’t it.

**Author's Note:**

> Just had a lot thoughts running around my head about Caleb's monologue during his watch scene, and then Molly's death happened, and it turned into this. Thanks for reading!


End file.
